Ready...or not?

You know how it is when sometimes your head feels ready to make a move but your body just isn’t playing ball?

You procrastinate.

Every other job under the sun seems to get done.

You drop into perfection mode to ensure its ‘just right’ before you take a step

You remember that passion for music, dancing, golf or anything that can quiet your mind asking why you won’t just get on with it!

You’re stuck.

It’s worse still when you have someone else waiting for you, or even trying to support you to do it, especially when we consider changes that happen at work. It adds an extra dimension of pressure…and often more concerted avoidance!

When change progress isn’t as expected, it is easy for people to assume that you are ‘blocked’ – that there is some defect or irrational notion in your head that needs to be challenged to move on, or a resistance that needs to be overcome. Essentially fighting talk – a foe to be defeated. You end up in defensive mode without even realising it.

However, what if it was nothing to do with having a block or resisting?

What if it was about just not being ready yet?

What if a given approach to changing just isn’t quite working for me or I am still thinking things through? Still processing?

What if the checklist I’ve been given to say when I should be ready never really considered where I was starting from?

What if I can’t quite see how I can get to the other side because I still haven’t gotten to grips with what’s just happened and what I may need to leave behind.

What if the pace that I need to go just doesn’t really work for everyone else.

It’s an exposing place to be when ‘everyone else’ just seems to be getting on with it (well seemingly so). You either just ride the storm with everyone else or get called out as ‘uncooperative’. A trouble maker. Non committed.

This is why it is important to ask the question – where are you now on your transition journey? Still processing what just happened, figuring out what you may have to leave behind or wondering where you will fit in?

Rather than that feeling of being cattle prodded with everyone else to get into the pen at the same time, these simple questions can create space for individual support to see you where you are and help make that journey smoother. Maybe not at the same pace or at the same time as everyone else…but sustainable nonetheless.

When you stop that unhelpful self-talk and just ask yourself where am I on the journey, it gives you permission to slow down, dampen that cortisol and create your own way to navigate a change.

And when someone else does the same, asks you as an individual ‘where you are’ and ‘how can we enable you’, rather than ‘why won’t you change’, you are four times more likely to successfully transition*. 

That’s pretty good for a simple pivot to your ‘now’ rather than your ‘should be’. 

So, why wouldn’t you just ask?

* Scott Keller and Bill Schaninger, "Getting personal about change," McKinsey Quarterly, August 21, 2019